Well... Almost Done.

I'd like to thank which ever crotchety, fun sucking, punk ass bitch/bitch ass punk that made Lucy turn off her Blog(s).

Seriously... GROW THE FUCK UP.

Now I have very little entertainment to get me through the day just because ONE person can't deal with being criticized (in an anonymous fashion no less).

I hope you're happy making one person miserable, because you've inadvertantly made a whole host of people miserable by proxy.

You definitely won't be happy if we ever meet in public, because you will get a severe tongue lashing from myself. (And I'll use lots of big words so you'll feel REALLY stupid)

Once again, thanks for being a stick in the mud... whoever you may be.

~Nate-O

End of the line?

My life is in a rut.

My weekdays are turning into a routine... albeit a routine that only I can comprehend.

Besides the on-off relationship I'm in at the moment, nothing really interesting happens in my life.

So, I don't think I'm going to blog for a while. Not that I may not get back to it at all, but right now I have nothing interesting to write about. (Unless you count bitching about a poor salary, exhausting days and other stupid stuff. I don't.)

Therefore, my blogging will be suspended indefinitely.

I would suggest going to my friend Lucy's blog over there ---------->

She leads a way more interesting life than I do. Plus, she can articulate that life far better than I could ever explain mine in blog form.

So thanks for sticking around. But check back in once in a while, I may come back in a few months with something cool.

~Nate-O

Fuck You Math

As far back as I can remember, I've never liked Math.

I went to Math class because I had to. I did my Math homework because, if I didn't, I wouldn't get out of middle school/high school/college. Not that I never did well in math mind you... I understood everything. (Granted, my multiplication skills STILL suck, but that's why mankind invented the electronic calculator... and put it in a cell phone so you always have it handy.)

Recently, I've gotten pretty gung ho about getting a new car. I've been out car browsing and stuff. I even found a car or two that I figured I could afford that had all the stuff I'm looking for.

And then... I decided to "do the math."

When I "do the math" on almost anything, the math ends up screwing me over in one way or another.

For example, I remember last year I REALLY wanted to go to Vegas for a weekend by myself. It would've just been a fun getaway to play some low-stakes Craps, take in a show or two, and drink copius amounts of booze in the hotel bar.

However, I figured even if I saved enough money against my measly salary, it would be more of a waste than anything else... so I put it on the back burner indefinitely. I was hoping that by the time April 2009 rolled around, I'd get a nice raise along with a phat tax return and take a little jaunt.

Then the economy took a kamakazie nose dive into the proverbial Aircraft Carrier.

No raise.

And that phat tax return? Well, that went to pay off my credit card because I spent WAY too much money on Holiday presents for my family. (Not to mention buying myself an XBOX 360)

So, I'm pretty much back to where I started.

Jump to a couple of weeks ago. I took my car to the shop to see how much it would take to get the suspension fixed and a tune-up. (They also said my air conditioner thingy was on the fritz)

Can you say 1600-1800 smackers?

THAT'S MORE THAN WE PAYED FOR THE FUCKING CAR IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

I then decided that maybe I should just get a new car. That way I can build some credit, give my current car to my sister, and generally feel better about my situation in life. So, I went out and found one or two cars I might be able to afford on my still measly salary. I was excited to go out and get my new ride.

And then... I "did the math." And, of course, it screwed me over.

See, my income fluctuates every month. It all depends on how much work I can get. The summer time is busier because we do WAY more remote broadcasts. Sometimes those remotes have a "talent fee" built in.

But when I did the math, I decided to low ball my income to the minimum I usually make. After factoring in rounded-up estimates of my monthly expenditures I came to one conclusion.

I HATE MATH!

Ok, I know, I'm probably being too hard on math right now, but it still sucks. Even though these days I make more than I did last year at this point, it doesn't look like enough to buy a car. (Not to mention the taxes, fees, insurance, and BMV bullshit)

All things considered, I figure one of three things have to happen if I want to get a new(ish) car.

1. Get a raise at my current job. (Fat fucking chance of that happening this decade)

2. Get a second job to supplement my income. (Yeah right. Like I'm not exhausted enough at work these days since I'm practically doing the job of 3-4 people as it is.)

3. Find a NEW job that pays more than my current job. (Uh huh... nobody is finding work right now. so how the hell do I find something with my limited skills. "Hello. I'm a lousy DJ at a small-market radio station. Can you pay me 30-40k a year plus benefits?" Cue uncontrollable laughter from the interviewer.)


So basically I'm depressed now. Fuck math, fuck this economy, fuck the automobile industry and fuck my job.

Time for a beer or two... or seven.

~Nate-O

Twitter

What is the deal with Twitter these days?

I'm already on board with Facebook. As bad as it can get sometimes, I will still go back there every god damn day. Especially with that "Mafia Wars" app that my friends got me roped into. (That shit is ADDICTING. LEVEL 68 bitches...)

And I went back and did a few things with MySpace too. Not much though. I don't have all that background crap that slows your computer down or makes it IMPOSSIBLE to see the text that you're trying to read. Hell, I haven't even changed my picture on MySpace for about 2 or 3 years... it's still me in a my blue Adidas hoodie at the control console of the old WCRD studios. Obviously not a big fan, but I still go back there because, like many of us these days, I want to know what everyone else is thinking with their status updates.

But Twitter... I'm flat out saying NO to that junk pile. You have, what, 150 characters to use to get your point across? If I want to do that, I'll send a damn text message...

So fuck Twitter. Yes, I said it. You will NEVER EVER see my screen name "Tweeting" telling everyone how great my Taco Bell Chicken Quesadilla was.

Oh, and how the FUCK do you make the action verb of "to twitter" tweet? That almost made me have a aneurysm about how stupid that sounds.

Ok, enough about that. Let's move on.

---

I AM FUCKING PSYCHED FOR MAY 8th!!!

I've requested the day off, I've been scouring the interwebz for spoilers and clips and every little thing I can get my grubby little trekkie hands on. Fuck, I may even buy the toy phaser, tricorder and communicator at Toys R Us when they come out.

(I'm talking about "Star Trek" in case you're confused)

Seriously, I could lose my job tomorrow and I would still be uber excited for May 8th. I'm more excited about May 8th than my BIRTHDAY. The only thing that would make May 8th better would be to spend the day with a chick who is JUST as excited about the new Star Trek and I am and just watch the movie all day.

Damn I'm lonely...

My old buddy Shawn from college is going back and watching all the Trek movies in order before the new one comes out. I only have 5 of the 10 movies in my possession: The Motion Picture; Wrath of Kahn; The Search for Spock; The Voyage Home; and First Contact.

Here's the way I think this is going to work.

May 7th - 5pm: My day of work ends. I completely shut off all contact with work. The sales people will be bitching at me about something but I'm going to pretend like I don't even speak English at this point. Hell, maybe I'll swear at them in Klingon just for the hell of it.

May 7th - 6:30pm: After a quick bite to eat, I'm off to the theatre. YES, because there will be a 7pm showing on Thursday because PARAMOUNT IS AWESOME!

May 7th - approx. 9:30pm: I go home to change my pants because It's been one long orgasm for 2 hours.

May 8th - 12:01am: Back at the movie theatre for a second helping at the Midnight Screening. I'm once again surrounded by die-hard Trek Fans. Hell, I may even make some new friends. They'll ask how many times I plan on seeing the movie and I'll say, "As many times as I can squeeze in before Saturday Midnight." (Which, according to Fandango at this point is only 3 other times starting at 4:20pm. But that's sure to change closer to opening day)

These nerds will then revere me as a God because not only do I have a cool job, but I'm also WAY more confident then them and have actually been laid. I'll call them my disciples and we'll travel the land preaching the Gospel of the Great Bird. (Wow... I'm totally going to hell.)

May 8th - approx. 2:30am: I'm still BLOWN AWAY by this sea of awesomeness. But, I have to go home and get some sleep if I want to have enough energy to see the movie several more times.

May 8th - Various times: My goal is to see Star Trek at least 4 times, if not 5. The freakin movie theatre people will just look at me like some weirdo but I won't give a shit. I've been waiting over TEN YEARS for a new Star Trek movie. TEN FUCKIN YEARS!!! I had to sit through TV shows, rumors of a new movie, re-runs of the TV shows, shitty video games... I FUCKING DESERVE THIS!

May 9th - Sometime after midnight: I'm sitting at a Bar. I don't care which one... but I will be drinking something Blue. In my mind, I'll be Dr. McCoy in the scene from Star Trek III where he's trying to book passage to the Genesis Planet. Although instead of Altair Water, I'll be imagining it's Romulan Ale. There will just be this HUGE smile on my face as I reflect on how awesome the new Star Trek movie was. I'll be wondering how the hell I'll be able to top such a perfect day...

...maybe when the sequel comes out.

Bring the warp drive online Mr. Scott... I want May 8th to get here at Maximum Warp.


ENGAGE!



~Nate-O

Pretty Accurate

For the most part, I'd say this chart is pretty accurate. What do YOU think?

~Nate-O

All My Fault

As I was searching through my playlist, I figured this song was the best interpretation of how I feel at this moment.

The obligatory "Watchmen" review

Yes, I am a nerd. Yes, I went and saw "Watchmen" the night it came out. And Yes, I thought it was a good movie.

Now, I've read/watched tons of reviews about the flick... some from just movie critics, some from nerd critics who like movies and comics, and I've perused a few from the die-hard Watchmen purists who either didn't want to see their beloved comic become a movie or just didn't like the fact that so much of the novel was changed/left out of the theatrical release. Honestly, I can understand everyone's point of view.

And now, because I occasionally like to jump on the bandwagon, here is my take.

* * *

"Watchmen", one of the most celebrated graphic novels of all time, jumps off the page and on to the big screen in a flurry of special effects and hype. Directed by Zach Snyder, the same guy who directed "300", Watchmen tells the story of retired superheros in an alternate 1985. The rag-tag bunch are attempting to solve the murder of one of their fellow retired masked crime fighters, the ironically named 'Comedian', who is thrown out the window of his New York apartment.

The heroes bear similarities to other well-known comic book identities, but each is also given a specific ideal of crime-fighting and life in general.

Now, I'm going to stop there about plot and just go into why I liked the movie. The following quote is what I told my brother who asked me what I thought

" Here's how I'll describe Watchmen: It was a good movie-goers movie. Definitely has all the stuff you want in a movie, and even though it is over 2-and-a-half hours long, it's worth the money you spend.

A word of caution... you may not enjoy the end if you haven't read the comic (or, in my case, read the cliff notes about the comic). However, if you like action, adventure, fight scenes, back stories, comedy (sometimes blatant and sometimes more underhanded), sex, rock and roll, mystery, special effects and a few twists here and there, then you will LOVE this movie."

Now, that was pretty much an hour after seeing the movie. After a little more reflection, and seeing what other people thought, I will add an addendum or two to my advice.

Firstly, some of the music used in the movie is out of place. When you see the movie, I'm sure you'll see what I mean. I can understand why some of the songs are chosen, but they just seem to clash with the feel of the film.

Second, I definitely think you should know about the story AND the ending before you see the movie. I went in knowing what was going to happen... or at least an idea. I kind of wish I had read the novel (and I definitely will soon thanks to watching the movie). But if you go in completely unknowing, I think you'll be dissappointed. Just go to wikipedia and read the graphic novel's plot synopsis to get the gist.

Finally, this movie is one of the best movie-going experiences I've had in a long time. I finally felt like I got my money's worth. The last time I felt that way was for "The Dark Knight". But this movie is WAY different and was slightly more engaging.

I say more engaging because I'm a big fan of back story. I liked the first Spider-Man, Batman Begins and Iron Man because they are origin stories. If done right, those are some of the best stories you can tell. I'm a sucker for a good backstory, and Watchmen is full of those. Plus, Watchmen isn't set-up for sequels, which is unique for a super hero movie. (Now, that isn't to say they couldn't make a pre-quel, but I don't think that's necessary. We don't need to delve any deeper into the characters. Plus, there's only one graphic novel... so there's nothing else to refer to.)

In any event, if you like comic book movies, you should see Watchmen.

Also, if you're anything like me, you'll think that Rorschach is the baddest mother fucker EVER!

"Heard joke once. Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says 'But, doctor...I am Pagliacci.' Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains."

In context, that bit is hilarious.

~Nate-O

Do you remember...

BILLY FUCKING OCEAN!??!??!!??!?!??!


FUCK YES I DO! CARRIBEAN QUEEN FTW!!!

~Nate-O

Asteroids

Did you guys hear? We all almost DIED!

No, not really. But a big-ass space rock did pass REALLY close to us. Now this isn't as big as the one that nearly hit us back in 1998. Thankfully Bruce Willis saved us from that awful plot-line.

Most people didn't even hear about it until it had already done its fly-by. JPL scientists knew it wouldn't hit us, but they only even saw the damn thing about two days before it passed us by. Just think, a slight shift in gravity thanks to our old pal Jupiter or the Moon could've sent that sucker directly into our ass. (And, with any luck, it would've been pulled into Rosie Odonell's gravitational field and taken her out!)

Kind of makes you think if the public would've been told if it WAS going to hit. I understand it could've turned into a dogs and cats living together mass hysteria type of moment, but it damn sure would've been fun to watch.

Also makes me wonder what I would've done. Not much I would've been able to do in a world in chaos on the brink of total annihilation... I'm not one to go help loot stores, and why would you want a flat-screen TV for two days only? No sense in praying or going to church since, even if there is a G-whiz, no amount of repentance on my part would've gotten my ass into heaven/nirvana/Eden/wherever else.

Maybe I'd just sit outside and look up... just to contemplate my life...

Or I'd throw THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS PARTY EVER!!!

Yep. The party sounds more my speed.


~Nate-O

Super Band

Here's my fantasy for the greatest band of all time.

---

NOW SHOWING AT THE ROXY: "The Flying Cheeseburgers"

Musical Style: Death-Pop Blues Fusion

On Vocals: Joey (He just screams into his Mr. Microphone as loud as he can for 3-3:30 minutes for each song. Maybe saying one or two words.)

On Keyboards: Jake

On Triangle: Ryne

On Kazoo: Me (because it's the only instrument I know how to play)

On Wii Music: Juice (Joey's cat who, even though she doesn't has opposible thumbs, has mastered that fucking game)

On Lead Cowbell: Martha

On Rythym Cowbell: Brianne

On Bass Cowbell: Random person we pull out of the audience every night


Set List
---

"I'm Snoop Dogg's MySpace Editor"

"Forty Oz. Steak"

"Cowbell: Play it FOOL!"

"Andre 3000 is my hero"

"Going to the free clinic"

"Insert Song Name Here"

"My God, this baked potato is horrible"

"Feet"

"Youtube isn't a tube at all"

"Who Farted? part I"

"Bobby Brown"

"I'm out of Cottage Cheese"

"Juice's Face Is Better Than The Soviet Union In 1975"

"Longest Kazoo Solo EVER"

"Who Farted? Part III - The Clonus Horror"

"Why the fuck can't I find my left contact lense?"


===

And I'm spent.

We play Weddings, Funerals, and Bar/Bah Mitzvahs. Book us for your next event won't you?


~Nate-O